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I gave up the habit of checking on my children in the middle of the night and listening to the monitor for sounds of life years ago. As they grew, so did my confidence as a mom, and I felt assured their breath was guaranteed. The nightly fears faded, and I learned to trust nothing bad would happen.
I felt secure through the worst days of the pandemic. Not because I didn't understand the risks, but rather because I remained in control. I wore a mask and kept my children home. We practiced all the safety measures the morning news implored us to follow. We had no underlying conditions threatening to make COVID-19 far more severe.
Yet six months into the pandemic, all the security I'd built over 11 years of parenting came crashing to a halt.